Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Should a seminarian have a girlfriend?

At the outset, the question is mistakenly formulated. And the mistake is in the “should”, for if we insist on this formula, my immediate answer is a big NO! Clarifying some ideas on this topic would explain my point. Our aim? Clear ideas.

The choice of this topic is occasioned by an email sent to me by a certain confused young girl (she calls herself the “Confused One”) two months ago. Her commentaries and questions were provoked by an article (which she attributed to me) supposedly published in DCHerald, about this question: “Should a seminarian have a girlfriend?”

* * *

Ideas to be clarified: The seminary is a place where vocations to the priesthood are discerned, discovered, nurtured and fortified (in this order). This is the aim of both the college (philosophical studies) as well as the theological seminaries (theological studies), although we may think that in the former, more emphasis is placed on the first two, while in the latter, on the last two, but without separating all of them.

Effectively, young men (most of whom have just finished high school) feel an inclination or a certain attraction to the priesthood or religious life, which usually is a first sign of priestly vocation, though not an exclusive one. (I know of some vocation history of priests who, at first, felt repulsion at the idea of entering the seminary, but ended up being ordained). Moved by such attraction, they decide to enter the seminary with the aim of discerning more clearly what the Lord wants of them. In the seminary, they receive a formation apt to this objective: to discern and nurture their vocations to the priesthood.

I always understand this experience as something comparable to that phase in romantic relationships that we call physical attraction and courtship. Young men who are inclined more to married life (in contrast to the example above) find gorgeous girls and propose plans to court them, with an analogous objective: to discern (if this is real love) and to nurture it (if it is true love) in order to bring it to completion in marriage.

* * *

In a word, seminary formation and romantic relationships are both preparations to two different but correlated life vocations: priesthood and married life. Correlated, I said, because thanks to the parents, we have priests. And thanks to priests, we have sacramentally married couple. If seminarians inclined to priesthood prepare themselves in the seminary for their future priestly ministry, young men inclined to married life prepare themselves through courtship and romantic relationships, for their future married life.

In both preparations, two requirements are essential in order to achieve the goal of each: commitment and sincerity. Those who decide to enter the seminary to discern and nurture their priestly vocations commit themselves to such a goal and responsibility by being sincere to themselves (to their decision), to God (Who they believe calls them) and to others (their bishops, formators, parents, benefactors and friends). The same commitment and sincerity are required in a romantic relationship. Once the girl perceives that the guy is insincere and is not committed to the relationship, a break-up would surely ensue (unless both are only up to a mere fling).

Now the questions: What if the young lad who is inclined to the priestly vocation is the same young man who is courting a girl? In other words, is it admissible for a seminarian to court a girl and, consequently, maintain a romantic relationship with her? Is it possible to be committed genuinely to the attainment of the goals of priestly formation and, at the same time, be committed honestly to the goals of courtship and romantic relationships?

* * *

If you are keen enough, you’d notice that in the first question, I employ the term admissible while in the second, possible. The answers to both are obvious. It is NOT ADMISSIBLE that a seminarian should court and maintain a romantic relationship with a girl simply because it is NOT POSSIBLE to be committed and sincere to both goals – those of the priesthood and those of the romantic relationships. In other words, a seminarian could not be committed and sincere to both his priestly formation and his girlfriend. As simple as that!

Partly, this explains my answer to the question at the outset. Not without reason the seminary prohibits that seminarians should have a girlfriend. It is not merely an arbitrary prohibition. It is something that is based on the order of things, on clear ideas and principles.

My letter sender mentioned some objections like: “Bawal bang magmahal ang isang seminarista?”, “Having a girlfriend is also formative for a seminarian” or “When a seminarian says ‘I love you’ to a girl, is he courting her?” I’m afraid we need to wait for other occasions to reflect on these questions.

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

I AM SEMINARIAN... and I SAY THAT IT IS OKAY FOR US TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE AS YOU HAVE SAID SEMINARY IS A PLACE FOR DISCERNMENT...REFLECTION... AND HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WHILE IN SEMINARY FORMATION,, IN A CERTAIN DEGREE, IS ALSO ESSENTIAL.. WHY? BECAUSE WE WILL KNOW OUR CHOICES. WE WILL KNOW WHERE OUR HEART REALLY BELONGS TO. AND WE ARE NOT YET ORDAINED.! IT IS BETTER TO REALIZE WHAT OUR HEARTS DESIRES EARLIER. AND IF IN ANY CASE WE CHOSE ROMANTIC LIFE OVER PRIESTHOOD WE'RE BETTER OF, AT LEAST WE WILL REALIZE IT AT AN EARLIER TIME, RATHER THAN WHEN WE ARE ALREADY PRIESTS... SEMINARIANS ARE ALSO HUMAN BEINGS LIKE ANY ONE... WE OPT TO LOVE AND BELOVED, THANKYOU

rubans said...

Entering into a romantic relationship with a girl while being in the seminary JUST TO DISCOVER ONE'S REAL VOCATION is tantamount to using that relationship and that girl for a personal gain. Don't you think? Kant said: "Never use a person only as a means to an end" -- and I would add -- especially if that end is very selfish...If you enter into a romantic relationship, it is because you already have decided that your vocation is not priesthood but married life and YOU ARE SIMPLY TRYING TO DISCERN WHICH GIRL YOU WOULD MARRY. Of course, it is better to know our hearts as early as possible. But that doesn't justify using a person as a means not as an end.

Bryan said...

I completely agree with the comment above and applaud the truth. It is alarming to hear a seminarian who thinks it should he allowed to have a girlfriend while in the seminary. As a priest, and just a plain catholic, you have to accept ALL of the church's teachings and submit to them. We need strong men who are ready to answer God's call to serving the TRUTH in the Catholic Church. If you are choosing doctrine to follow and others to challenge, then you have no business being a seminarian, and especially not a priest. I will pray for you.

Anonymous said...

Hello!
I just want to comment, i have a seminarian friend who expresses mixed signals to me. I know that his signals were pertaining to have a romantic relationship but not at all clear, so when i asked him, he said he likes me but the problem is I am so confused with his state as a seminarian.

He explained to me that they were encouraged to have a romantic relationship,so they can fully discern.

Honestly, as a girl, and I consider this as my stand, with his reasons, i feel that I am just a tool for his discernment.

though he is a good man, i don't feel the sincerity or i can't see the goal or objective in pursuing me, which for me it's like settling for less.

I appreciate the explanation made by rubans, that is the exact phrases that i would like to explain him. (though i tried to, figuratively, i felt i haven't explained my side well)

just sharing my thoughts and feelings on this issue.
thanks!

Anonymous said...

i am so confused about my feelings.. i have a seminarian friend, and this is my story, that was 4months ago, i am with my aunt for a bible study, and i met this guy, at first i am not interested with him because i know he is a seminarian and i know he will be a priest someday. there was a time that i saw him staring at me, not once but always. Then one night he said he like me, then i said i think i like you too, then he ask for my number and i gave it to him, then he came to our house and something happened to us, until that day, i am so attached to him i am deeply in love with him, but he just left me, and now i am going abroad to have my work there, but how can i tell him that i miss and i love him if he is not making effort for us to see each other. I am planning to talk to him before i leave ,i just want to tell him that i love him and i have to forget him. you think he is a good son of good for what he did to me?? please give me advice on my situation.. thank you so much....

rubans said...

Dear "Anonymous",

Your experience and situation is not new nor it is peculiar these days. It is the same old story of a girl being courted by a seminarian, or of a girl having fallen into the "grip" of a "confused seminarian". I call that seminarian MORE CONFUSED than you are. At least, you are more honest with what you feel that he is. You know what you feel for him and what you want in life. He neither knows what he feels for you nor what he wants in life. These are indications of immaturity. Besides, we can rightly say: "namamangka siya sa dalawang ilog .. God and you". And because of that, his commitment is doubtful. Again, another sign of immaturity. Can you afford to have an immature BF? If he cannot be faithful even in small things (your relationship now), how can he be faithful in bigger things in the future (if ever you get married -- God forbids -- or if ever he gets ordained -- God save the Church!). With what he did, though he still a son of God, he does not deserve the name "seminarian". Now, another sign of immaturity is his lact of "paninindigan" with what he did to you. However, you must also understand that "it takes two to tango" so we cannot pass the blame only to him for what happened between the two of you. There are guys who, upon discovering how easy it is to get the girl who attracted them at first, would get discourage once they get what they want. That explains why you notice "he is not making effort for both of you to see each other". You are asking for advice, here's mine; (1) NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN NOR TELL HIM THAT YOU LOVE HIM. HE DOES NOT DESERVE THAT EFFORT. Just admit that everything had been a mistake (especially what happened to both of you that day). (2) GO TO A PRIEST AND CONFESS YOUR SINS and BEGIN A NEW LIFE. Sometimes we are also entitled to one mistake in life. Never allow yourself to commit the same mistake again. (3) LOOK FOR A BETTER KIND OF LOVE -- true love, which consists in purity, respect and self-forgetfulness...Your going abroad may be God's way of telling you to start a new life. God is giving you a new beginning. Forget about the seminarian, he doesn't deserve you. You deserve a more mature person who will really love you without seeking only carnal pleasures. (4) PRAY FOR HIM INSTEAD THAT HE MAY BE CONVERTED AND BE HONEST WITH HIMSELF, WITH GOD AND WITH THE CHURCH. I WILL ALSO PRAY FOR YOU. Thank you for sharing your story.

Anonymous said...

hello,
actually,,, i am a girlfriend of a seminarian of a certain religious order. He had taken his temporary vows .. before he entered the seminary, we were in a relationship but then after 2 months, he broke up with me because he wanted to become a priest.I had given him my consent since i love him --soon then 2 months after his entrance, i also entered a monastery 2 hr ride from our city. sadly, my superiors noticed that my call wasn't meant to be there,so they put me into regency, they took me home at the 18th day of january 2011.

sometime while i was at home, i texted his old number thinking he might had given his phone to his superior, but i was wrong.. 2 nights later, he replied...as soonly as he courted me and we were in this relationship again... he was still the sweet best friend i used to have...and still he was my sweet boyfriend.. but then he was made to choose between novitiate or me... so i told him, it's up to him what to decide no matter how painful would it be to me. so he decided to break up with me with harsh words like " i regretted that i knew you" "I would really forget you" and so on... that year was dreadful for me.. after being sincere and submissive to his requests.. last year i had tried to forget him by having relationships which were all a failure despite my faithfulness ---it is just this year that i decided not to love again--- thinking maybe to wait for my seminarian ex to come back which was a stupid idea.. but it really did bother me after two years and a half of not seeing each other * (because at the year 2010, he was in the seminary very far from our home province)
he went looking for me... he soon found out my current number from our mutual friend and he was texting me "Hi's and How are You" and would finally missed-call me... i was pretty busy in the convention i attended with other charismatics that i only answered him finally when i got home from a very long trip. It was then he told me who he was and i felt like.. strange why he approaches me again. after a long text during that night, he told me that he still loves me... soon i told him i still loved him..the next two days we talked about what had happen to me the pass 2 years.. the next thing i knew i was again so in love with him...like we mutually felt when we were still couples when he hadn't decided yet to enter the seminary. the sad thing is.. honestly, due to emotions ,,, we had committed a grieve sin of FORNICATION.. well, to make the story short, he told me if he wouldn't become a priest, he would marry me...but the weird thing is.. he's asking me to give him a child... and i told him it would be appropriate if he would really decide to marry me first..



Do you think he is really called in his religious vocation or does he only call himself and not God? please tell me what to do... he re=entered the seminary and i am not against that, i just want to help him--because i love him.. though i know in the end it would cause me pain..

rubans said...

Dear Anonymous,

Your experience has some common elements with the one above, so I will just limit myself to clarifying some points regarding your question.

God's call is totally mysterious but it does not mean that God does not give us signs whether one has or does not have a vocation to priesthood and/or religious life. But what happened to you with your seminarian BF cannot be considered a positive sign that he has a vocation or at least, if he really has, what he did cannot be called a positive response to that vocation.

Vocations can also be lost just like any gift. If it is not nurtured by prayer, sincerity and the commitment to get away from what is contrary to it, vocations to priesthood can be lost. I cannot say if your BF's vocation to priesthood has already been lost. But certainly, what he is doing is not nurturing his vocation. And we can also say that, in case he does have a vocation, YOU TOO ARE NOT HELPING HIM TO NURTURE IT.

You said you want to help him because you love him. THEN, I WOULD SUGGEST THAT YOU STOP THE RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE IT IS NOT HELPING HIM TO DISCERN MORE HIS VOCATION TO THE PRIESTHOOD. But you may ask: But what if he does not have that vocation? My answer: How do we know? Only he could know or believe it. NOw you cannot help him discern if he is so attached to a relationship (especially when it has gone carnal)...his mind is already biased, confused especially by emotions, affections and the temptations of the flesh. At this moment, he is in a situation of infidelity towards his vow and towards God. You may help him by telling him to be honest with his formators, to himself and to God. And as for you too, I suggest that YOU MAKE A SINCERE ACT OF CONFESSION TO A PRIEST (sacrament of confession) and try to avoid the sin of fornication.REST ASSURED OF MY PRAYERS...

Anonymous said...

is it a sin to love a seminarian?

Choix Douces said...

I never tried posting in any blogs however i feelthe irge now...i had a relationship with a seminarian and no matter how much we wanted to stop the relationship we just couldnt....however just a week ago he made the decision for us to stop our relationship. With the reasons you said about them becoming faithful and mature by focusing n his vocation.....he said he wants to think more since he feels he really have the calling...ihope you can help us by praying....i am more convinced now not to talk to him because it makes it mre difiult for us. He said he loves me but not enough or the marriage life...

Marrey said...

I just wanna share my opinion :)

I don't think if I would agree from the comments. Well, for me kasi...
We should not generalized the attitude of a seminarian as one. In the first place kasi, we have different personalities and philosophies in life. I know seminarians are nurtured holistically in the seminary. And even seminary itself is not enough that a seminarian will formed completely. "Hindi naman siguro sinubukan lamang ng isang seminarista ang bagay like "courtship" to test himself and determine if God really call him. diba?
We should consider him as human who also felt being loved by someone. This is not like an experiment to examine or discover whether it is good or not. We don't know them, Me neither. But we should have to respect them.
Who knows they are also struggling just to be called "right" in the eyes of many people.
Why we need to label them as different from other men (those who are not seminarian)?. I know they are SEMINARIANS, but is their identity as seminarian matters for them to engage in romantic relationships?

I believed, not all seminarians are irresponsible.
Those who asked an advice, huwag din naman natin masyadong seryosohin ang mga bagay bagay. Huwag din nating madaliin ang mga desisyong nangangailangan pa ng mahabang panahong pag-iisip upang alamin kung ito'y nararapat ba talagang gawin. Minsan temptations are just around,feelings too are not constant sometimes. Kaya it needs longer time to grow. That's why sa part din ng guy, mas lalong nahihirapan sila at dumating 'yung point na hindi nila malaman kung ano ang dapat gagawin.
May mga pagkakataon din kasi na kailangan din nating bigyan ng space 'yung taong minamahal natin upang makapag-isip. Hindi lang siguro puro "SARILI" lang natin ang ating iisipin. We should also consider their part. We should not be selfish girls :)

That's all.. Thank you for considering my insights :)
Lord bless, & Have a great day!

Anonymous said...

Feelings are important. Kung ikaw ay isang seminarista mas mabuti siguro na alamin mo iyung "calling" mo without using another person. OO, dumarating sa buhay natin na hindi natin maiiwasan na mahulog or ma-attract sa isang tao pero hindi dahilan iyun para paasahin iyung taong iyun lalo na pag lumalim na iyung relasyon at darating iyung panahon na kailangan mo ng mamili bet. your vocation and that person.

Mas maigi siguro na habang maaga pa, masigurado mo na sa sarili mo kung anong gusto mo. OO, malaki iyung bagay at risk pero kailangan mong linawin sa sarili mo iyung gusto mo dahil kawawa naman iyung taong involve. Parang pinagsasabay mo iyung pagbuild mo ng relationship kay God at sa isang tao. Mas maiintindihan pa siguro ng Diyos kung lalabas ka na sa seminaryo kung di mo kaya maging tapat sa kanya kesa niloloko mo lang iyung sarili mo at Diyos na habang nasa loob ka, gumagawa ka ng mga bagay na alam mong mali. Hindi masamang magmahal pero kung alam mong hindi mo naman kayang panindigan, isipin mo din iyung taong masasaktan. You can't get the best of both worlds and it will be so selfish if you'll try to maintain both relationships. That's all.

Anonymous said...

hi just call me janny,i just would like to ask an advice because im inlove with a seminarian.. he's on he's 3rd yr philo and he's planning just to finish his 5th yr in philosophy studies and he's telling me that he will court me after he finishes his studies.. i love him so much and it already breaks my heart bacause i want to stop the feeling that i have for him becAuse i don't WANT to be the reason why he will give up his vocation.. am a sinner that i fell for him?? i just can't help my self from falling inlove for him even more.. ayokong agawin sya kay god at ayoko rin na maging reason kung bakit sya lalabas.. and lastly i dont want his family to blame me if he really decides to go out.. hai.. patulong naman po thanks! godbless

John Cornell Amor said...

Blessed day father, i certainly agree with you. in conclusion "namamangka sa dalawang ilog" i absurd. i also perceive that those who opposed, and those who will opposed you neither understands priesthood nor marriage, in short, immature. this is john of CFD-UM.

John Cornell Amor said...

Blessed day father, i certainly agree with you. in conclusion "namamangka sa dalawang ilog" i absurd. i also perceive that those who opposed, and those who will opposed you neither understands priesthood nor marriage, in short, immature. this is john of CFD-UM.

Anonymous said...

Hello everyone.. i just want to share my story and i will appreciate it if you have any comments or suggestions ..
i am a girlfriend of a seminarian.. at first , i am not really interested about him because of the vocation he is in to.. but i really dont know why i like him. I guess its because of the the way he treated me. They will go back to seminary this june and he said that we will continue our relationship. its very hard for me because i actually have many suitors and i am actually surrounded by many people not like him.. i love him.. i really do.. like what others feel, i am afraid of loosing him also.. he toldme that i should wait for him and because he is planning to be a teacher after he will graduate from his vocation. If you are in my position, what are you going to do also ?? Need help !

Anonymous said...

for me, it is a big no. because having a girlfriend just for that particular seminarian's discernment, is like your having a big joke to yourself and to the girl.. it looks like the girls are their temptations? no way..!! when a person enters the seminary life he is already answering the vocation that god gave him and that vocation was the vocation of PRIESTHOOD ,,.. i have a lot of seminarian friends and i have also a seminarian cousin. 1 time i ask him if he had a girlfriend and then he answer me a big word.. " OFF COURSE NO.. I DONT HAVE because i choose this vocation. i choose to be a seminarian and i choose to answer god's call for me to become a priest"...

Anonymous said...

I think if a seminarian wants to enter or even start building a romantic life with a girl, he should primarily leave the seminary. I've got this from the side of my present boyfriend who was a seminarian for 7 years. He left the seminary and started courting me. He explained me why he had to do that-- to prove that he is serious to give his all to me. So girls, I think, LOVE IS GIVING ONESELF FULLY. Don't let yourself be fooled by the seminarians who tell you they love you yet can't give up everything for you. Think maturely! God bless us all!

Anonymous said...

Hello.. I just wantd to share mine.. I would appreciate if there are advices.
I was inlove to a seminarian and he has same way of feelings to me.. At first, i was afraid to express it for i guess its not proper and ryt.. Butas the days go by, i found myself really clings to him.. I wantd to see and talk to him everyday.. I also felt that he was sincere with all the things he said and did.. We have that mutual feeling for each other.. Even if i love him, i did not allow us to be in a relationship.. Then, one time, he called at me, he said that he was bidding goodbye and told me that he will try to forget me.. It really sucks that i cant go through it.. I love him so much and he too , he said that i would understand his decision not that day but as the time goes by... I do really dont understand.. I tried to forget him also, but i cant really do it..

What will i do?? I really miss him so much and his friend kept on telling me that he still loves me .. Ughh.. I am so confused.....

Oboyskishanna Maiguech said...

I am a seminarian too and the longing to have a love life is or to have a girl friend is very normal. But the question here is "do we really think having a girl friend while in the seminary will help us discern our vocation?" Based on my experience most of my brothers who had girl friends have left the seminary. What I am trying to say here is I dont think we really have to enter into a personal relationship with someone while we are in the seminary. We can discern more if we try to focus on our vocation---besides following the Lord entails lots of sacrifices. One of those sacrifices is the denial of our self...taking up our crosses daily and surrendering our whole being to the will of God. I think if from the moment we entered the seminary, God has already called us..but it's up to us if we are going to answer and nurture that call.

Anonymous said...

  Priests are meant for the entire people of God, not only for few. It is not a prudent act to keep them for oneself or for any personal advantage. In the same way, seminarians as future priests are also reserved for important and indispensable ministry. That is why, people must help them to be selfless and others-centered and rather than narcissistic. Accepting a non-premeditated decision like courtship while still in the formation and even tolerating an immature action of engaging in hidden affair means denying our responsibility as lay to ensure and nurture vocation for priesthood. It may be said as a grave offense against the whole Church. Thus, before even thinking of having romantic feelings for seminarians or priests or religious men or women, one should bear in mind that the no. 1 enemy if such action shall be pursued is God Himself.

Anonymous said...

  Priests are meant for the entire people of God, not only for few. It is not a prudent act to keep them for oneself or for any personal advantage. In the same way, seminarians as future priests are also reserved for important and indispensable ministry. That is why, people must help them to be selfless and others-centered rather than narcissistic. Accepting a non-premeditated decision like courtship while still in the formation and even tolerating an immature action of engaging in hidden affair means denying our responsibility as lay to ensure and nurture vocation for priesthood. It may be said as a grave offense against the whole Church. Thus, before even thinking of having romantic feelings for seminarians or priests or religious men or women, one should bear in mind that the no. 1 enemy if such action shall be pursued is God Himself.

Anonymous said...

I think I need help, there's this guy that I really like since we where in highschool. Before entering the seminary he asked me if ever I will stop him or I would allow him to go there. But i said if it is your will then go ahead, I will not be in your way. I still saw him every-time because I am a member of a choir. I never knew that he still feels the same for me. After 5 years he finally had the courage to tell me how he really feels for me. Now this is his last year in the seminary and he said he wants me to be his girlfriend.. what should i do?

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Father for your blog entry. It has been a help to me in my own struggle. Just in case someone is looking through your blog for advice, I would like to share my own perspective (from the woman's side) in my newly opened albeit anonymous blog http://notquitemisterright.blogspot.com/

I hope you continue to be of help to those in complicated situations. God bless you.

Anonymous said...

Looking through all these Comments and replies, I find it tough to face the fact that I am in love with a seminarian. One thing would be he is significantly older than I. Like some people I really want to stop loving him especially because not many people have had a success in a relationship with a seminarian. As well as I have not been willing to express my feelings for him again because of the age difference and the fact that he is dedicated to his calling. It has although been bugging me for 5 months now and I decided to look for some helpful answers as of to why it's best to just forget him.

Anonymous said...

Reading through these Comments and replies. It's tough to face the fact that I am in love with a seminarian and I don't know what to do anymore I met him 6 months ago and I immediately fell in love. Except for he is significantly older than I am and I feel the need to completely forget about him but I don't quite know how.

michael said...

Well, all point makes different but my own point of view is that, as seminarian of Holy Roman Catholic and Apostolic church it will be more better you dont have than you have since you want to be a priest of GOD With a celibacy. based on Girl-love is not good for seminarian to underwent such character. Thanks

Anonymous said...

I've been through this.My bf then for 4years went to WYD and heard God calling him.When he told me this,we ended our 4-year relationship that really affected me completely.He entered the seminary but kept in touch.It was difficult on my part since I was trying to move on.For a year,we were in a chaotic relationship because you cannot serve 2 masters at the same time.I finally decided to make a stand because I can't be hanging for the rest of my life.I have to decide.I finally decided to let him go even if it was really very hard for me. I prayed hard that God give me the courage that I need to do it.But what surprised me?When I finally let go of him,that was the time that he really decided to go out of the seminary.Because he realized that he cannot live a life of lies and pretensions.We're married now for 12years and serving the Church as a couple under the Neo Catechumenal Way.I believe that when you say YES to Christ,you have to mean it.And make a firm stand.Vocation is a beautiful gift from God.And it is really up to us how we can discover ours.Everything is Grace!

Tyler Lorge said...

I THINK YE ARE A LIL MIXED UP AND EVEN LIL ODD!!! YE NEED NOT ENTER A SEMENARY IF YE NEED A GIRLFRIEND! YE ARE JUST WANTING TO DO SATANS WORK AS GAYS DID TO SNEAK IN THE HOLY CHURCH OF CHRIST JESUS! STAY AWAY IF YE NEED A GIRLFRIEND! LEARN BEFOR YE ENTER A SEMANARIAN ! DONT BRING GIRLFRIENDS INTO YE CHASTE LIFE AS A SEMANARIAN ! THEN YE ASKING FOR TROUBLE !!!

shella may said...

Girls, wag kayong pa uto diyan sa mga seminarian na nanliligaw sa inyu. Mostly sa mga seminarians, ang ta.as ng tingin sa sarili nila. As if they know everything. And their excuse when they're done with you? I chose I chose God than you. pweh! better say, I just use you because I have nothing to do everytime we are being assigned in a parish. Or I like you because you're pretty and I wanna test my skills.

Well, my husband is a seminarian before. He was at his 4th year in Philosophy when we met. When he courted me, he stated all the advantages and disadvantages that I'll be going through for having him as my boyfriend. That I found sincere and honest!. And he was honest with me that he had just entered the seminary because he want to make sure that he'll finish school, away from all the worldly temptations. (he was a computer addict at his first two years in college before he was dragged by his friend to enter the seminary).
But if he became a priest, surely is, he'll be a kind and humble priest. True to his words, he didn't took any ent. examinations for theo and he put all hia attentions to me. Its Love you know. :-)


Dapat wag kayong padala sa flowery words or ka dramahan na karibal ninyu and Diyos at nakokonsensya kayo, pero tinuloy niyo pa rin pala ang pakikipag relasyon.


I met a lot of seminarians before for my mother is an active member of our parish. Most of them, feeling bright, pasikat, paporma, at feeling heartrob. haitx. That's just my observation. And I said, most, not all of them. My husband even tell me stories about his classmates and how they collect and select girls. Teenagers though.


Over all, I agree with this article, how can you love a girl when you cant submit yourself to her a 100% of you, and just the same with God. Do not use people guys, you dont know how you can affect their lives!

Lance Enad said...

I'm a seminarian. I have encountered some of my fellow seminarians having relationships and I have even heard of some being engaged in fornication.
I Believe it is not right for a seminarian to be on a romantic relationship.
In The Diocese (Cebu) I am from, I have heard stories from priests who were under the Spanish Priests about seminarians advised to go out because they had relationships or attractions.
I think Restricting Seminarians to have romantic relationships will be very helpful in reducing the number of Clerics being unfaithful to their vocation.
I believe a seminarian should live and behave like a good priest.

Anonymous said...

i think a agree with your opinion brother...
i am a nun and i know some brothers who have a relationship...and i think they are just using them to discover their real vocation...

Stephen said...

pagpuyo mo mga seminarista nga ganahan ug uyab ui!! being in the seminary is actually a relationship with the Church whom you will love for the rest of your life. If you can't be serious with having a loyal and exclusive relationship with the Church, then don't be a priest. And don't use girls as tools so that "you can discern if I am for the priesthood or not". You are essentially demeaning them to the level of tools. ... seminary life is meant to lead you to priesthood, at least that's the plan.

Mao gani na naa mo diha sa sulod para maanad namo to give yourselves wholly to God in ministry. When do you suppose to start that, after you're ordained?

Have a gf outside of seminary. But once you're inside, focus! if you can't, be honest then go out of the seminary.

By the way, I was once a seminarian, and I understood this. that's why I was glad I didn't become a priest and I am now a husband and father.

Get real guys.

Please.

Anonymous said...

I am an ex seminarian and I have two realizations while I was in the seminary

1. If you are a seminarian, and you Persevere in your vocation to the priesthood,Don't hold back! Continue because He is now calling you!
2. If you are a seminarian, and you fell in love with a girl, and made an exclusive relationship with, then Priesthood is not for you but God is calling you to the vocation of married life. Remember, Priesthood and Married life are both God's gift. Both gift's are equal.

There is nothing wrong to choose Married life over priesthood because it is still a gift from God, and vice versa. Married life is a universal call to to each and everyone of us who is still discerning to our future vocation.

ANd lastly, SEMINARY LIFE IS NOT ULTIMATELY ABOUT PRIESTHOOD. IT IS ABOUT LEARNING TO LOVE JESUS EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE.

LA Loowells said...

Hi,I've been dating this seminarian for morethan a year now. We knew each other for morethan two years. We met because we're in the same circle of friends. I admit that I wasn't looking forward for anything beyond friendship the first stage in our closeness. He was constant in talking to me and I really admired some things he does to make me smile.
It's summer break unexpectedly our paths had crossed again after a long time of being parted from each other and I smiled to him,I never knew my smile would bring had a huge change to his mind.
Days after my birthday he confessed that he's already falling but I am already in a relationship that time. While I was trying to tell him how I feel for him he's trying to divert the topic to another so we never had a serious thing. Bago lang din naging kame ng boyfriend ko noon, never nya naman akong ipinursue kaya't may sinagot naman ako. Alam nung boyfriend ko na I never looked at him the way I looked at that guy. So we had a fall out.
After 3months he decided to broke up with me.

As usual he was there to comfort me. He's my confidant.

At last graduate nadin sya sa philo course nya sa seminary. He told me he's going to study again near my university Seminary din pala.1day he asked me out for a date.I just can't believe my luck.Days,weeks,months turned to years but I wasn't satisfied of what we have dhil hanggang MU lang kme.Nasa discerning stage daw sya.di pala sila pwedeng magkaroon ng girlfriend.I did gave him up several times but he kept on chasing me back so I've decided to keep what we have.I'm still waiting that maybe -maybe one day there's a little hope that he makes up his mind and ask me to be his girlfriend. He's just as afraid as history might repeat itself because he can't accept that he has a broken family.I left him once trying to make things right but I just made him miserable,It just made things worst.I lost count of the days and nights I cried massive amount of tears and grew weaker iyan yong mga araw na tinitiis ko sya kahit pa anong paraan ng pag reach out nya saakin. Hanggang sa binalik nalang namin kung anong ugnayan ang mayroon kame ngayon. It made us love harder. It is summer vacation, we're still at the city. For the first time I let him sleep at my pad because it's already late. Something happened to us that night that I partly regretted, partly because it was wrong and I never wanted to do it not until i'm married,I also ruined his discernment, partly I'm not worried because he's the only one I want to gave in with but though we're in an adult age it's still not the right time.I felt guilty. I have thought of asking him after this
what are we?
but I managed to keep it within myself and it haunts me in my thoughts.I'm kind of expecting that maybe after this something will change, but nothing has. I'm also a raped victim and I never told him my very dark traumatic past, actually I never told anyone,I'm too afraid of my parents. God knows, I'm just as afraid that he might look at me differently or with disgust. What should I do?

LA Loowells said...

Hi,I've been dating this seminarian for morethan a year now. We knew each other for morethan two years. We met because we're in the same circle of friends. I admit that I wasn't looking forward for anything beyond friendship the first stage in our closeness. He was constant in talking to me and I really admired some things he does to make me smile.
It's summer break unexpectedly our paths had crossed again after a long time of being parted from each other and I smiled to him,I never knew my smile would bring had a huge change to his mind.
Days after my birthday he confessed that he's already falling but I am already in a relationship that time. While I was trying to tell him how I feel for him he's trying to divert the topic to another so we never had a serious thing. Bago lang din naging kame ng boyfriend ko noon, never nya naman akong ipinursue kaya't may sinagot naman ako. Alam nung boyfriend ko na I never looked at him the way I looked at that guy. So we had a fall out.
After 3months he decided to broke up with me.

As usual he was there to comfort me. He's my confidant.

At last graduate nadin sya sa philo course nya sa seminary. He told me he's going to study again near my university Seminary din pala.1day he asked me out for a date.I just can't believe my luck.Days,weeks,months turned to years but I wasn't satisfied of what we have dhil hanggang MU lang kme.Nasa discerning stage daw sya.di pala sila pwedeng magkaroon ng girlfriend.I did gave him up several times but he kept on chasing me back so I've decided to keep what we have.I'm still waiting that maybe -maybe one day there's a little hope that he makes up his mind and ask me to be his girlfriend. He's just as afraid as history might repeat itself because he can't accept that he has a broken family.I left him once trying to make things right but I just made him miserable,It just made things worst.I lost count of the days and nights I cried massive amount of tears and grew weaker iyan yong mga araw na tinitiis ko sya kahit pa anong paraan ng pag reach out nya saakin. Hanggang sa binalik nalang namin kung anong ugnayan ang mayroon kame ngayon. It made us love harder. It is summer vacation, we're still at the city. For the first time I let him sleep at my pad because it's already late. Something happened to us that night that I partly regretted, partly because it was wrong and I never wanted to do it not until i'm married,I also ruined his discernment, partly I'm not worried because he's the only one I want to gave in with but though we're in an adult age it's still not the right time.I felt guilty. I have thought of asking him after this
what are we?
but I managed to keep it within myself and it haunts me in my thoughts.I'm kind of expecting that maybe after this something will change, but nothing has. I'm also a raped victim and I never told him my very dark traumatic past, actually I never told anyone,I'm too afraid of my parents. God knows, I'm just as afraid that he might look at me differently or with disgust. What should I do?

"Sacerdotes, 'consagrados en la Verdad'"

Estar inmersos en la Verdad, en Cristo, de este proceso forma parte
la oración, en la que nos ejercitamos en la amistad con Él y aprendemos a
conocerle: su forma de ser, de pensar, de actuar. Rezar es un caminar en
comunión personal con Cristo, exponiendo ante Él nuestra vida cotidiana,
nuestros logros y nuestros fracasos, nuestras fatigas y nuestras alegrías -es un
simple presentarnos a nosotros mismos ante Él. Pero para que esto no se
convierta en un autocontemplarse, es importante que aprendamos continuamente a
rezar rezando con la Iglesia.